Today is my dad's birthday.
I don't know how old he is...I just remember that it's the third of July.
I really don't remember him, though.
He never really cared about me or my sister and brother.
People have tried to convince me that he did, but the plain and simple truth is that he didn't.
He remarried when I was five and didn't even tell his new wife that he had been married before or that we, his children, even existed.
She found out through an insurance claim.
Child support was never paid, we lived in poverty due also to my mother being mentally ill.
After my dad's wife found out his secret, they agreed not to tell their children about us.
The secret was kept for many years.
But my dad started feeling guilty after his mother died...our Granny (we actually called her that).
You see, no one contacted us and we found out through a friend seeing my grandmother's obituary in their local newspaper.
I don't blame the family for not letting us know, as my dad's wife can be volitale and they were hoping to avoid any confrontations.
Still, I believe that it was this event that triggered my dad to get in touch with me when I was in my late twenties.
We corresponded by letters than phone for several months.
In the beginning he kept our communicating from his wife, but she found out.
At first she was angered, "betrayed" she said, but then decided that it was okay and they would have to figure out a way to tell their sons about us and our dad's past.
One son was already grown, the other a child,...both were curious about us.
A trip was planned, teary hellos and hugs were expressed in the airport upon my arrival, it was all so touching...Oprah-worthy even.
But all was not resolved, more lies were created and what was supposed to be a process of healing became confusing and deceptive.
I believe that there can come a point in our lives where it is okay to step out of another's life.
My dad and I have not talked for nearly fourteen years.
It's okay...and...I have forgiven him.
Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds-
his name is the LORD-
and rejoice before him.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.