Hope For A New Year

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.  ~ I Corinthians 13:12
This past year was a tough one for our family. Though we didn't understand much of what happened and why it happened, the Lord led us through guiding and comforting the whole time.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  ~ Romans 15:13

I am hopeful for this year. Our Lord's grace is sufficient in all things!
So although there were quite a few thorns in 2011, I'm refusing to be discouraged and seeing the bigger picture!



Be encouraged, Julie

Homesick

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
James 4:14

But the word of the Lord endures for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached to you.
I Peter 1:25

So much time, money, and effort is invested into what is of little worth.
I get caught up into it also.
And then I'm reminded by my Lord...reminded that this is not my home.
Praise God, this is not my home!

First Frost!

I woke up this morning and noticed God had dressed the pasture with jewels.
What was just green yesterday, now sparkled and radiated with trillions of fractured light.
I had to get out there!
It was cold but I suited up appropriately, grabbed the camera, and rushed out with a, "Please don't let the cows out until I've come back!"
I'm afraid of them, the big mommas, that is. There are five of them now and they wouldn't blink an eye at mowin' me down. In fact I think it would make them happy, give them some sort of satisfaction in knowing they were able to fight back against the establishment! Their cloven hooves can't hold a protest sign so they'll take whatever victories they can get.
And of course my imagination is getting away with me.



So once I'm out and surrounded by an abundance of frost laden flora, I click away!



It's at times like these that the wonderment of childhood returns.
And where does that go anyway???



Sad. Sad, that as we grow older we desire so much of the unlovely.
Hmmm,...in Heaven, I believe the wonder of childhood and awe in seeing things with new eyes will return.



Until then, I'll be looking for those sweet glimpses of wonder here and know that so much more awaits!

Seeing Him and His loveliness in the simple,
Julie

Perseverance

Even though we were really dry this past spring and summer, and much of my flower beds were utterly destroyed by dogs and chickens seeking damp, cool earth for a respite,...our faithful Four O'Clocks survived.

 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.   ~Romans 8:28~

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:   ~Philippians 1:6 ~

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.    ~1 Corinthians 15:58~

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.    ~Galatians 6:9 ~

Blessings, Julie

A Quote

Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once and He volunteered for it.
~RC Sproul~

  

The Skinny

A Little Catch-up on the Chickens, the Children, and Church.

1. The Chickens

This past spring, I put twenty fertilized eggs into an incubator that our local extension office had let us borrow. Twelve chicks hatched out and stayed in the schoolroom for almost five weeks. I then kicked them out to the coop. They did great for four days and then on the fifth day, that morning, I went out to feed them and every last one of them were GONE. There was evidence from the coop door that an animal had pushed the chicken wire up and had gotten in. We think the dogs took part in this little soiree as there were little piles of feathers amongst their large cow bones out by the cellar.
I'm still not speaking to them.

After the baby chick massacre we had two hens go broody, a Wyandotte and a Buff Orpington. The Wyandotte hatched out two chicks and the BO hatched out one chick. Just two days after the Wyandotte had hatched out her two, I discovered that one of them had been killed and eaten by a very large and still digesting his chicken nugget, rat snake. The husband and I pounded on him with two hoes and he is no more.

This morning I went out to feed and discovered the other chick belonging to Ms. Wyandotte had gone the way of the first and yes, the culprit being a very large rat snake was still present digesting a much larger chicken nugget meal (and just gotta mention here that the whole scene was worthy of a nature documentary on snakes). Needless to say the husband and I were most helpful in seeing that another Mr. Snake would be enjoying no more meals via the coop.

So now we have the Buff Orpington raising her lone chick that I'm just sure is a pullet (yay me). This afternoon I went out to check on the whole lot and found yet another snake (very large garter snake) skulking about the coop and snuffed him out with my trusty hoe.

We are now at ten hens and one pullet. Which isn't really that bad as we've dealt with record breaking heat this summer and I was sure we would lose more. Mr. Incredible (the very large and very mean rooster) died, but he doesn't count, sorry, if that sounds callous but I didn't like him, you wouldn't have either...trust me on this one.

2. The Children

The children have dived headfirst into school. Actually we're doing some serious review work right now while I wait for our stuff from Rainbow to make it here.
They're also gearing up and preparing for the county fair that is at the end of this month.



Both girls will be participating in the 4H Horse Show and all three cherubs will be showing their calves at the Bucket Calf Show.



 Honestly it's been a long summer and I think we were ready to have a full-time school schedule again.
We did keep up with math throughout the summer and some language arts though.

3. Church

Recently a friend of mine emailed me and very sensitively and tactfully inquired about how we're going about searching for a church. Her email touched my heart as it was evident that she in no way wanted to offend but was curious as to how we were going about making this very important decision.
We do have somewhat of a checklist if you will, but first and most importantly we're bathing this with prayer and I'm talking a serious soaking of prayer.
But getting back to the checklist, there must be truth in the pulpit with sound biblical teaching. Tim and I both are in agreement that we won't settle for mediocrity or the dumbing down of the gospel that is becoming widespread in too many pulpits today. I'll stop there regarding the deception of flock leaders.
We also desire to be a part of a fellowship where those in leadership are loving, transparent, and not arrogant. For us the leaders must be above reproach, not perfect mind you, but quick to repent and ask forgiveness if confronted with sin.
The churches we've visited have primarily been Southern Baptist Churches as that is where we believe we're to be. We're not the Seeker Sensitive types, so when we see these practices being implemented we steer clear. 

Of course, there are other factors such as distance. We want to be active in whatever church the Lord leads us to. We were at our former church. We enjoy serving. And we live so far out in the country that we are limited as to how many churches are that close. Tim commutes an hour round trip Monday through Friday, so distance is definitely a factor.

Anyway, that's the skinny of what's up here and I do desire your prayers regarding our Lord's direction. A part of me believes we're still going through a great deal of forgiving and healing spiritually and won't be free to enter another fellowship until we've dealt with the baggage that we keep finding ourselves dragging around.

We haven't been popular regarding some, but we know we're on the right road and really that's all that matters.

Blessings, Julie

Oh and by the way, we've been getting rain and the temperatures have come down to the upper 90's in the daytime. Thanks for your prayers regarding the drought in Oklahoma. We're still experiencing drought but the recent rains have been so encouraging!

Things Aren't Always What They Appear To Be

Last week, Samuel came running into the house calling me to "Come look!...Mama, come look!"
He led me out to the front porch where he showed me a large brown moth that he had caught out at the barn.
I set the large moth up on the wall of the porch...and then...it spread it's wings out.



Wow! We were delighted to say the least! Who knew such a dull brown moth could really be so beautiful.
I went inside and quickly found our "Butterflies and Moths" identification guide and looked our gorgeous friend up.



He's a Polyphemus Moth, a member of the giant silk moth family and we know he's a "he" by his fuzzy antennae. The Polyphemus Moth can grow to a six inch wingspan. Ours is pretty close. After becomming moths, they only live for ten days as they cannot eat due to very small mouthparts. They mate, females lay their eggs, and then they die. We felt blessed that we were able to see this guy before he passed on.



Things aren't always what they appear to be, case in point, the Polyphemus Moth.
But this is a lesson I'm learning in my own life, my spiritual life as I've posted in a recent entry entitled, In Love We Journey On .
I'm learning that in order to line up with God's will, hear His voice, and heed His guidance, I had better stay close to Him.
And as of late that is where I desire to be more than any other place.
No, so much of this world is not what it seems and in order for us as Christians to stay above reproach we had better stay in His Word, meditate on it, fellowship with believers of deep spiritual maturity and that have a passion for the things of God, and pray without ceasing.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. ~2 Timothy 2:15~

Blessings, Julie

Loving The Difficult Ones

This is Strawberry our little strawberry roan pony. I purchased her at an auction last summer. You can read the post here. She's stubborn, aloof, and seriously mean to the other horses.

She's difficult!

Several years ago I was involved in helping with a women's retreat at the church we were recently a part of.
The retreat was wrapped around Beth Moore's Bible Study "Loving Well"



Mrs. Moore did a great job with this particular part of her study...dealing with difficult people. I still refer back to this mentally from time to time as I encounter those that require more of me than I'm willing to give at times.
But in all honesty, isn't it the difficult people that cause us to have to love with more patience, more determination, more flexibility. Wouldn't it be the difficult people that stretch our love, cause our love to grow into a more...unconditional love?
Because honestly, the difficult people tend to drain us emotionally and mentally. So loving them with a love that can only be provided by God would mature our ability to love others as Christ loved us.
I mean think about it...I know my thoughts, I know how selfish I can be, I know how DIFFICULT I can be, and yet God loved me...even while I was dead in my sins!
That blows me away....because I know how much worse I was then as opposed to now...and yet He loved me, unconditionally.
Yes, thank God for the difficult people. He gives them to us to challenge us, grow us, and to help us to become more like Him!

You can view the rest of Beth Moores series on "Loving Well" at Youtube.
Correction: If you would like to watch the whole series, you can watch it here. At the end of each clip it shows the next clip in the series. You can click on it here without having to go to youtube!
I am so enjoying listening to this as I organize and clean the schoolroom this morning. The children are upstairs cleaning and listening to Adventures in Odyssey.
I'm having a great time getting things done that have needed to be done for quite some time while being encouraged!


Blessings, Julie

Here, It's Where I'm At

Part of my morning routine is to head out to the chicken coop early while the sun is just peering over the eastern horizon, let the chickens out into their run, and then check the nesting boxes for eggs.
The hens lay throughout the morning, but there are always at least three eggs to be found by the time I get out there,...still warm...in the cedar-lined nests.
This morning, I tuck them into my barn jacket's deep pockets and then head out to the garden to see what may be coming up.



The asparagus I had divide several weeks ago and transplanted is making its way up and through the earth!



Not to be outdone, the green onions are also emerging. Wonderfully, we're all fans of fresh green onions on a crisp garden salad on a hot summers day!



Satisfied with the goings ons there, I stroll back towards the house, my hands in my pockets cupped around the still warm eggs.

The redbud trees at the edge of the driveway demand my attention. I take a few pictures and once again wonder why they're called redbuds when the blooms are most definitely not red.



Grape Hyacinth are blooming. These tiny little flowers that are some of the first to bloom in Spring, have always enchanted me with their durability and the ease with which they spread. So charming!



And then I head back into the house to prepare breakfast, educate children, work on a blog post, ponder the progress we're to make in the spiritual place our family is in right now, pray without ceasing, and work on the history fair that I have had the privilege to head up these last three years. The history fair is tomorrow morning.

My husband emailed this quote to me this morning,...I love it!

"Let it never be forgotten that the material part of a Christian Church is by far the least important part of it. The fairest combinations of marble, stone, wood and painted glass, are worthless in God’s sight, unless there is truth in the pulpit and grace in the congregation. The dens and caves in which the early Christians used to meet, were probably far more beautiful in the eyes of Christ than the noblest cathedral that was ever reared by man. The temple in which the Lord Jesus delights most, is a broken and contrite heart, renewed by the Holy Spirit."
~ J.C. Ryle

Isn't that great?!
Blessings and have a great weekend, Julie

Of Clothes Washers, Mental Illness, And Freedom

Recently, we made a trip to my hometown in southwest Oklahoma, Frederick.
My mom needed a new washer and I was horrified to find out she had been making trips to the laundry mat since hers wasn't working.
She's a bit wobbly and frail. She's fallen multiple times and the thought of her trying to carry a basket of clothes while negotiating a curb and getting into a building, convinced me that we needed to do something quickly.
Wonderfully, Tim is very supportive of my mom and after discussing when would be a good time for the whole family to make a trip down there, we made arrangements.



Tim's parents live on the way, so the girls stayed with them while Tim, myself, and the little guy headed on down to my mom's with the washer in back of my father-in-laws pickup.
A couple of trips to the local hardware store for a washer hose and a new valve were all that was needed and Tim was able to get the washer installed.
He did a fantastic job! The Lord has blessed me with a resourceful and frugal man.
Mom was so thankful for the new washer and insisted we take some money for it. She's that way.



With each visit, I wonder will it be the last one that I'm able to observe her being on her own.
It won't be long before her independence comes to an end.

It seems she's aged dramatically within the past five years.
She's had a hard life and seen more misery, sadness, confusion, and lonliness than most.
Her eccentricities are still very much profound but more subdued since getting back on the medication that helps to keep the delusions and paranoia managable.



Is it strange that I look forward to the day that she'll be free from the bounds that have held her down tightly for most of her adult life? An illness that has robbed her from enjoying the loved ones she's been so graciously blessed with.

Her life, most of it, has been filled with fear, uncertainty, and the deception of her own mind's doing. But gratefully as she is in the twilight of her years, the worst is behind. It's been a long road, an ugly and even violent road at times.
Looking back I could get angry and many would. There was never baking cookies, confidential talks concerning those of the female kind...those that are usually privileged between mother and daughter, nor many words of affirmation.
She was without the support of a husband both physically and monetarily. I was five when my mother and father divorced, he never looked back.
She worked much of the time to keep food on the table and rent paid.



Our childhoods weren't completely devoid of all nurture, there were moments of clarity...but sadly these seemed so seldom.

I can remember Sunday morning church at our small Nazarene fellowship. The preacher, Brother Biddle, worked up behind the pulpit, his voice raised with passion for the lost and his every word with an "S" in it whistling, droned on as I sleepily sought my mother's lap. She would allow me, a small girl of probably six or seven, to lay over on the pew with my head resting in her lap. I can still remember her hands gently playing with my long brunette hair. Twining it through her fingers as she sat listening earnestly to the preacher.



Yes, I long for the day that she is free.
Free to sit closely and safely by our King. Free to enjoy Heaven's haven. Free to experience the gentle touch of Her Saviour upon her head as He lovingly speaks words of acceptance to her.
Until then, I will do my best within the Lord's will to make the rest of her journey here as gentle and sweet as I possibly can.

My Progress

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23


Today, I cleaned and organized all day.
And it felt good!
Doesn't it make a difference when the clutter is gone and you can actually remember enjoying your home?
Why do I let it get to a point of total chaos?!

Now, I've got to be honest...the house is still somewhat in a state of disarray, but a vast improvement has been made.

Progress seems to be what I'm all about right now, moving forward.
Funny, I seem to say that very thing to the kids often, "Let's move forward, people!"

Is it just me or do you too sometimes feel like you're in limbo? I've felt that way for awhile now, like I'm in limbo.
I haven't understood it and being a homeschooling mama with a sense of limbo goin' on is a bit frustrating and discouraging. So would limbo and stagnant be synonymous? Stagnant can be such a negative word with negative implications.
Hmmm, I'll think on that one.

Anyway, limbo or stagnant, I'm leavin' them behind and movin' forward!
I'm cleanin' house!
Working on thankfulnes, Julie

In Love, We Journey On

Tim and I have been on a journey.



It hasn't been pleasant.



In fact, it's been downright painful and confusing at times.

Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
C.S. Lewis 

There have been tears, arguments due to conflicting emotions, fervent and even travailing prayer...seeking Him, seeking Him, seeking Him,...our King...and His will be done, His direction, wisdom, and guidance!
We have strived to be obedient in the situation, realizing the weight of it and how the decisions we make can affect not just us, but our children, and our friends...but yet we know that God comes first in all this, we must live out our faith, our belief, our salvation.



But through it all we've been driven closer to Jesus, our Lord.

Didn't He endure much for us?



And He is faithful to guide us, His children, when we faithfully seek Him with all our hearts.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
James 3:17

Above Reproach

It is our desire to be peaceable, non-divisive, above reproach, and full of God's love, mercy, and grace in the decision we believe God has led us to make.

Dreams, hopes, and goals have been shattered like a shiny iridescent soap bubble...floating, floating,...then pierced by the wand that just produced it.
We're grieving, but we have a hope...an eternal Hope.

I am not one to be cryptic or even subtle in my communicating with others.
Please forgive me for coming across as "not getting to the point."
I will, but I had to lay the groundwork, the disclaimer if you will.

Transparency

And with that...
God is leading us out of the fellowship/church that He had directed us to five years ago.
This is not a decision that we came to quickly, but have been praying over it for quite some time.
We are not rejecting the relationships, the wonderful friends that have become like family and really aren't they???
But we've been guided out for reasons that we are not allowed to disclose.
That one is really hard for me, I'm a talker and like to get things out in the open.
I need transparency.
So this sounds a bit paradoxical but it is not.
We've been diligent to search the scriptures to see how this is done and we are not Biblically in the position to disclose our reasons.
Enough said as we've been counseled not to say more.
And so why would I air this out here you may ask?
Well, really I've not aired anything but that God has led us out of this fellowship and that we're believing that He is faithful to lead us elsewhere to further His Kingdom.

I am also reminded that we as Christians are to be broken bread and poured out wine as our Lord was...our lives should reflect His as He lived here on this humble planet.
It's not about me, or even my desires and plans to glorify Him, but about Him and His plans to use me to glorify Him.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind

What does He command me to do?

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
Matthew 22:37

If I am obedient in the greatest commandment, He is so faithful to carry out His purpose and His will for me.

He loves us and He's the King, The Lord, The Risen Saviour!
And I am my Beloved's and He is mine!

Please pray for us as we begin a new chapter on our journey here in the shadowlands, we truly desire them and need them.

For now, I leave you with this...a beautifully articulated quote from the theologian, John Piper.
Thanks to my wonderful homeschooling friend, Lesly, for posting it at facebook, I needed it!

‎"If you don't feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great."

— John Piper (A Hunger for God)

Looking Ahead

We have a small spring behind the house.
When we bought the house a little over five years ago, it was described to us as a "frog pond."
But it is a natural spring.
And it's just a short walk from our back porch.
Many mornings I enjoy getting outside early in order to get some pictures while the light is good.



I enjoy taking pictures at dawn and dusk, it's about the light a lot of times for me.
The spring is all dried up right now as we've been experiencing drought-like conditions here.



But the rains will come soon, as they always do, and provide the much needed water.

There Will  Be Showers of Blessings



The rains will come and warmer weather.
Dragonflies and butterflies will return!







The flowers will bloom once again!

Oh! Happy Faces, I long for you!







The cicadas, clothed in humble dull cases, will crawl from the earth.
And then they'll emerge anew, winged, to fly from bough to bough chorusing from the tree-tops!



I'm yearning for Spring and all her promises...I'm looking ahead.

Spring is also about new beginnings.
Our family is about to begin a new journey with the guidance of our Lord.

He is faithful, He is trustworthy,...I'm looking ahead!
Blessings! Julie