Life @ Forty Acre Farm

The rooster died this morning.
That would be Mr. Incredible.
We ran him ragged yesterday evening in temperatures that were well above 100. No, we were'nt trying to run some pounds off of him but catch him to put him in the chicken tractor that Tim had built. Tim also wanted to show him at our county fair at the end of August...won't happen now. And yes one of my more recent posts had detailed his demise. Well, the evening before the "killin'" we wisely surmised the pot was too small. That was when Tim decided to keep him and show him at the county fair...won't happen now.

In early June, I put my mother in a nursing home. She's closer in proximity now. We visit her often.
She's not happy with me.
I'm dealin' with it.
Life is like that.
You've just gotta deal with it and not shirk your responsibilities. One odd thing though, when visiting her, I find myself observing the other residents. There are some that nearly seem unconcious,  they're strapped in wheelchairs or strapped in mobil beds. They're silent, usually looking downward and seemingly oblivious to what's going on around them. Some are in wheelchairs, propelling themselves forward through the halls and nodding their heads at us or giving us sweet smiles when we walk by them. Many times what they say is unintelligible, I smile, pat them, and say, "I'm so glad to see you today!" (meaning every word).
And then there are many using walkers like my mom, that seem a bit confused like my mom, but are delightful to talk to and so so sweet, like my mom (she's just unhappy with me part of the time).
So here's where I'm goin' with this....I'm wondering what I will be like when I hit this stage of life???
Will I be like some I've seen that repeat the same phrases over and over and over. We've seen one woman that does this. She's either yelling, "Help me, help me, help me!" or muttering, "I hate, I hate, I hate."
When I am old and no longer in control of my faculties, will all the fears and grotesqueness of my life bubble forth upon the ears of my loved ones and strangers? And am I foolish to even wonder upon such things? Not a pleasant subject, huh?

And changing the subject, but I just wanted to let some of you know that Google doesn't like me. Yes, before it was Facebook. But now it's Google. I've tried to comment at some of your sites and it won't let me. This is very frustrating as bloggers like Homeschool on the Croft are so wonderful about leaving comments here but I can't comment back and I have tried. It's just so frustrating because just recently at HOTC site she had a post about a vegetable I had never even heard of nor seen before! I think this whole problem has to do with cookies of which the computer kind and I'm completely ignorant of, (sigh). And before I have one of my witty friends comment concerning the "cookies" term, let me just cut him off by saying, "No, I did not lose my cookies!"
But I also lost my "followers" gadget. Strange because when I first noticed it gone, I thought no one liked me anymore but then quickly decided it just couldn't be me. I mean what's not to like?! And by the way, that last statement is an inside joke between my husband and I. Believe me, you'd understand if you knew the full story...again (sigh, really really big SIGH).

There's a lot more "life" going on here. The whole chicken drama has been a bit much and I'll tell more another time and then there's the searching for a new church home which has been a journey in and of itself! But that's a subject I will probably have to tiptoe through. God is so faithful, generous, and loving and He provides what we need when we need it! He definitely won't leave us where we're at (spiritually speaking of course) if we're willing to move forward in Him.

Be a blessing! Julie

  

Of Clothes Washers, Mental Illness, And Freedom

Recently, we made a trip to my hometown in southwest Oklahoma, Frederick.
My mom needed a new washer and I was horrified to find out she had been making trips to the laundry mat since hers wasn't working.
She's a bit wobbly and frail. She's fallen multiple times and the thought of her trying to carry a basket of clothes while negotiating a curb and getting into a building, convinced me that we needed to do something quickly.
Wonderfully, Tim is very supportive of my mom and after discussing when would be a good time for the whole family to make a trip down there, we made arrangements.



Tim's parents live on the way, so the girls stayed with them while Tim, myself, and the little guy headed on down to my mom's with the washer in back of my father-in-laws pickup.
A couple of trips to the local hardware store for a washer hose and a new valve were all that was needed and Tim was able to get the washer installed.
He did a fantastic job! The Lord has blessed me with a resourceful and frugal man.
Mom was so thankful for the new washer and insisted we take some money for it. She's that way.



With each visit, I wonder will it be the last one that I'm able to observe her being on her own.
It won't be long before her independence comes to an end.

It seems she's aged dramatically within the past five years.
She's had a hard life and seen more misery, sadness, confusion, and lonliness than most.
Her eccentricities are still very much profound but more subdued since getting back on the medication that helps to keep the delusions and paranoia managable.



Is it strange that I look forward to the day that she'll be free from the bounds that have held her down tightly for most of her adult life? An illness that has robbed her from enjoying the loved ones she's been so graciously blessed with.

Her life, most of it, has been filled with fear, uncertainty, and the deception of her own mind's doing. But gratefully as she is in the twilight of her years, the worst is behind. It's been a long road, an ugly and even violent road at times.
Looking back I could get angry and many would. There was never baking cookies, confidential talks concerning those of the female kind...those that are usually privileged between mother and daughter, nor many words of affirmation.
She was without the support of a husband both physically and monetarily. I was five when my mother and father divorced, he never looked back.
She worked much of the time to keep food on the table and rent paid.



Our childhoods weren't completely devoid of all nurture, there were moments of clarity...but sadly these seemed so seldom.

I can remember Sunday morning church at our small Nazarene fellowship. The preacher, Brother Biddle, worked up behind the pulpit, his voice raised with passion for the lost and his every word with an "S" in it whistling, droned on as I sleepily sought my mother's lap. She would allow me, a small girl of probably six or seven, to lay over on the pew with my head resting in her lap. I can still remember her hands gently playing with my long brunette hair. Twining it through her fingers as she sat listening earnestly to the preacher.



Yes, I long for the day that she is free.
Free to sit closely and safely by our King. Free to enjoy Heaven's haven. Free to experience the gentle touch of Her Saviour upon her head as He lovingly speaks words of acceptance to her.
Until then, I will do my best within the Lord's will to make the rest of her journey here as gentle and sweet as I possibly can.

Brrrr! This Post Is Not About The Weather

This past Sunday, I left my kids, Tim, and the bucolic farm life to drive down to Southwest Oklahoma.

On my way, I sashayed through the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge to see how the wildlife were faring.

"You guys faring okay?"
"Huh, what?! Faring...what's that supposed to mean?


Then I made my way further South and onto my husband's parent's house...where I spent the night.
The next morning, I was up dark and early at 3:50 AM.
I drove the forty miles on slick, icy (this is not a post about the weather) roads to Frederick to pick up my mom as she had knee replacement surgery scheduled thirty-five miles away at Altus at 7:00AM.
We arrived at the hospital in Altus at 6:30.



A nurse came in to take her vitals and start prepping her for surgery. She glanced at Mom's ankles and lower legs and noticed a considerable amount of swelling.
The surgeon was in Mom's room within fifteen minutes examining her ankles and legs.



Tests were ordered and to make a long story short, the surgery was canceled.
I drove Mom back to Frederick and then proceeded home encountering snow three fourths of the way home.
A wasted trip? No, I don't think so.
We're taking all of this one day at a time and trusting the Lord in it.

Gonna throw a fact out there. This AM it was 9 degrees with a windchill of -5.
Just a fact, a seriously cold hard fact.
Thanks for clickin' over,
In The Deep Freeze, Julie 

Visions of Spring Dancin' in My Head

Wonderfully, I've found that many of you presently are of likemind out there in the real world, the cold winter world. We're dreaming of Spring and all its offerings, blessings, and warmth.
I've been enjoying all the Spring gardening planning posts that I've been reading at some of my favorite blogs...and dreamin' and plannin' my own garden.



This year, one of my goals is that the children and I join one of our local farmers markets and sell eggs, produce, and flowers. I don't know that it will be wholly accomplished. We'll see.



But forgive me for being a weather whiner, long awaited projects are beginning to take shape during these frigid days, also.
Tim's parents came this past weekend to celebrate Christmas and his dad lent his muscles and building expertise to a play structure that Tim has been planning for quite some time.
He found the plans here. 



A friend of the family came over to help and brought his whole family (wife and all five kiddos). We had a blast! And the guys got so much done.



With two tractors and plenty of muscle, the largest part of the project was completed...getting the six large poles in the ground.


The kids are excited and looking forward to the finished product as am I!
Tim's mother surprised the girls with sweatshirts and now they're the "Christian Chicks."



My mother has knee replacement surgery next Monday. I'm really desiring your prayers in this area as I've heard so many discouraging accounts of how hard it is to recuperate from this particular type of surgery. Please pray her knee would heal quickly without incident and that the Lord would continue to provide all that she needs. She's had such a tough time in this life and admittedly so much of it is due to unwise decisions and her mental health issues, but God is merciful and she's precious to Him, too.

A good blogging friend of mine, Sally, is having a fun and creative contest at her blog, Diamonds in the Rough. Recently, she posted a picture of her girls "getting into the Word" at her site. I commented, "P31's in progress." To which she commented back here that this was every morning before breakfast. In fact the motto at their house is, "No Bible, no breakfast."
I loved it!!! And I was challenged...really. So for the past two mornings we've all read our Bibles and then had Bible study and prayer afterward before breakfast. I am determined to keep it up. Keep me accountable and ask me sometime if we're continuing to read our Bibles every morning before breakfast, please.
Thanks for clicking over and God bless!
Julie